June 2012
3 posts
5 tags
Me: How come Justin gets to act gay but I can't?
Phil: Because Justin has sex regularly with a woman.
Justin: *singing* You. Make. Me. Feel. Like I'm living a. TEENAGE DREAM. The way you turn me on.
Me: Oh, ok.
Jun 29th
1 tag
“When you move in with Kristina, she and I are going to have contests to see who...”
– Ariel
Jun 24th
1 note
1 tag
“So, do you go to Asian church or something?”
– Anonymous
Jun 24th
2 notes
May 2012
8 posts
“Do I need an ID to get a Happy Meal?”
– Koda
May 26th
Justin: Yeah, I had sex with this girl that threw up that night. I gave her mouthwash, fully intending to have sex with her.
Me: *mindfuck* What?!
May 24th
“It feels so nipple-y out here.”
– Camille
May 13th
“Freshmen and Sophomores are weird and stupid. And they smell.”
– Anonymous
May 12th
“Adam, I’ll give you $100 if you walk into that tanning salon and ask them...”
– Amy
May 12th
“I can’t sleep any other way. I have to be sheathed in a butt.”
– Kristina
May 10th
Christina: And if it starts crying, just sing it to sleep.
Me: I'll just put on some Nicki Minaj...
Christina: But then it will grow up to be a stripper!!
Me: Hahahahaha!
Christina: Stop laughing! This is our adopted child we're talking about!!
May 8th
“Luis is a flamingo! Except he’s green.”
– Victoria
May 5th